When you introduce yourself, what do you say after your name? If it begins something like, "My name is Janie Doe. My husband is whatever-his-rank-is-Doe of the whatever-his-unit-is-called," it's time to step back and introduce yourself to YOU. Who are YOU?

It is very easy to assimilate the military lifestyle and lose your identity as you become the perfect military spouse--always supportive, always willing to accept the unexpected, to cater and host social functions. To pick up and move as directed by the needs of the service. To be both a mother and a father to your children while your spouse is deployed or TDY. To be the patriotic supporter in good times and bad... But at some point you begin to lose your identity, unless you actively strive to maintain some aspect of your individuality.

In the recent downsizing climate, we learned that a military career can be a very finite thing. The realities of downsizing meant that service members and their spouses (and even the little rugrats) who lost or failed to develop their "civilian side" often found themselves terribly unprepared for the unexpected (and perhaps unwelcomed) separation from service.

It behooves military spouses (and military members, as well!) to immerse themselves in the civilian community-- to network and expand their opportunities. Even those who choose not to pursue a career would benefit from the positive interaction with a civilian perspective. For those who wish to pursue a career, interfacing with the civilian community is essential, as that is where the vast majority of opportunities lie.

Ideally, the best is a balanced combination of interaction with other military families and the civilian community. Other military families can provide mutual support, friendship, and share a unique understanding that's only possible from some in the same boat, so to speak. The civilian community provides increased social and professional opportunities, and a perspective on the real-world concerns of long-time members of your local community.

By taking advantage of the opportunity to immerse yourself in the local community, you also increase one of the benefits of being a military family member-- learning about the culture, history, customs, and uniqueness of everywhere we go. With only a few exceptions, military installations are situated amidst fascinating opportunities-- cultural, historical, architectural, educational, and social... The people of the area can add so much to your experience of what the location has to offer. At the same time, those who have never ventured far from their home can experience the life of a world traveler, if only vicariously through your experiences.

This interaction benefits the military community greatly, by facilitating an understanding among civilians concerning the challenges, joys, and opportunities of military family life, and the important role of those serving in the armed forces. When national patriotism and an understanding of defense needs are waning, taxpayers urge their congressional representatives to slash budgets, jeopardizing the availability of the equipment and technologies our military partners need to do their job, and endangering the support services we rely upon as military family members. When international conflict is not in the news headlines, the importance of maintaining military readiness seems unimportant. Numerous polls have shown that many Americans have a very poor understanding of international relations and other factors that impact our national security.

By being active participants in our local community, we can serve as ambassadors, promoting understanding, acceptance, and concern for both the local and world community. Without our even being consciously aware of it, we help those around us to learn to think beyond local issues and understand how the larger aspects of the national and world community interact. Through our friendships with members of a community, we broaden their horizons, their interests, and understanding; And we gain from their insight, opinions, and contributions. When we give a little of ourselves to the community, we gain so much more in return. And the sum of all our little efforts can have a very large and positive effect on those we meet, wherever we may go!