I remember the first "Wives' Club" meeting I ever attended. As we went around, one by one, introducing ourselves, I noticed a gentleman seated across the room. When he stood up and introduced himself, he chuckled and said, "Yeah, I guess I'm a Navy wife..." I had to admire the fellow. It must have taken immense courage to even attend the Wives' Club coffee in the first place. But it really made me conscious of the insensitivity of some of the old traditions-- traditions that should probably change, and in doing so, would probably serve everyone better. Perhaps the fact that my husband's Commanding Officer and Executive Officer were both women, and both married, that I really began to realize that some of the stereotypes and practices which assumed all military spouses were female, are clearly outmoded.

I'm very interested in the perspective of military husbands-- especially concerning issues related to employment (finding it upon PCS, support/assistance of military programs for finding it, etc.), and "social" interaction experiences within the military community. I'm very interested in how your employment concerns impact your and your partner's satisfaction with military life, her decision to make the military a career, and her military readiness. I'd really appreciate input from male spouses and female servicemembers. Please let me know if I can share your experiences (even anonymously?) via this web site. Thanks so much.

Part of my motivation is to dispel some of the myths and misconceptions that people have. For example, I'm often reminded that almost 90% of military spouses are female, but I've met a number of military husbands, and several have told me they feel there's inadequate support and recognition of the fact that some military spouses are men. When I requested similar input on one electronic bulletin board that serves women in the military, a well-intentioned respondent informed me that, "Most female military members are married to other military," suggesting that the number of civilian husbands of military members was so small as to be insignificant. I found this interesting, and later, inaccurate. Based on figures from the Defense Manpower Data Center, there were 195,917 women on active duty in September, 1999. Of them, 44% are married. The majority of those married, 53%, are married to civilian men. This translates to 45,840 husbands of military members within DoD alone-- Certainly not an insignificant number, especially when one considers the husbands of Coast Guard personnel, too!